Friday, July 26, 2013

I am lovely.

I don't like thinking. I don't like quiet. I like to keep busy. You know why? Because I can avoid my feelings.
This week, I have been at the Oregon Coast with my family. This means a lot of napping, laying around, walking on the beach, and quiet time... Which for me, means lots of thinking. The main topic that I've been struggling with all week has been being alone. 
When I look at other people in my life, they all have their best friend, their boyfriend, or at least a person of interest. And then here am I, all alone. Of course when this thought comes to mind, I push it away and tell myself that I'm independent and I don't need anyone to make me happy. This is a true statement, but much easier said than done. 
While pondering this topic once again tonight, I was listening to a pandora station when a song came on that caught my attention. The lyrics read, "I feel lovely just the way that I am. I'm beautiful to me, doesn't that mean a thing." At first, I just thought to myself, "Wow... That's a really cool song. That's awesome that she has so much self respect." 
Then I bought the song and listened to it again. I noticed another statement that said, "I'm just little old me. But I'm still lovely just the way that I am." It finally hit me that I may be little, lonely me, but GOD sees ME as lovely. Just.the.way.i.am. That's something we don't stop and take time to think about too often. It was almost as if God was speaking directly to me through this song, saying, "My beautiful daughter, you are lovely. You are lovely because you have ME. And I am ALL that you need." 
I don't need a best friend or boyfriend, of something in my life to make me happy. What I NEED is a Father who will always, unconditionally, and eternally love me. No matter what. 
I'm enough for God and God is enough for me.