As I head into my Senior year of high school, I am already overwhelmed by the credits I need to finish, the SAT/ACT scores I need to obtain in order to go to the college of my choice, the annoyance of senior project, finishing summer online classes, worrying about keeping my GPA at a 3.89 (since we all know a 4.0 is actually impossible) and the big one: having absolutely no idea what direction I want to take my life.
And you know what? I'm about to admit it…something I thought I would never say. Something that I thought I was so excited for!
Growing up is hard.
There's a common tweet that always circulates through twitter around the time of graduation each year that reads something like: "How am I supposed to know what I want to do with my life when a week ago I had to raise my hand and ask for permission to go to the bathroom?!" It's pretty funny, yet also ironic because of how true it is. There's so many paths and options…so many life altering and determining choices that are suddenly just sitting right in front of you. Last year at this time, I thought I knew exactly what I wanted to do and where I wanted to go to school. But it's pretty easy to know what you want to do... until the time comes to actually start doing it. When it comes time to actually start following through on our previously determined decisions, we often chicken out. We begin to question everything.
Sometimes, I don't think we have to be sure. Sometimes I think it's okay to question. I fully understand that we have to make plans and have direction in life. But if we only ever acted upon what we were completely sure of in life, how much would we actually accomplish?
Sometimes, I think God is just looking down at us saying, "Just trust me. Take a leap. Go for it! If you fall, I'm going to catch you. So what are you so afraid of?"
Earlier this Summer, I was incredibly lucky to be given the opportunity to spend a month serving at a Younglife Camp called Malibu. Younglife is a Christian organization that primarily brings people to Jesus who usually wouldn't step into a church or don't have any Christian background. They draw people in by using fun games, events, having amazing camps, and just straight up loving on people. Growing up in a Christian family and attending a private school, I had heard the name Younglife maybe a few times but never really knew what it was or cared about it. When my friend invited me to club (young life gatherings where you play fun games and get a short talk about Jesus), I went, but thought it was useless because I needed something "deeper".
Later on that year, I was really struggling with friends, life, and altogether happiness. I was hanging out with a friend and she told me how excited she was for Younglife camp coming up the following week. As I listened to her talk about how much fun it was going to be, I thought to myself, 'now that's what I really need right now'. I told her I wished I could go, but I knew the deadline for registration was already months past. That's when she told me she just found out they had one more spot they needed to fill. I called my parents and surely enough, I was off to camp 4 days after that! Camp was a great experience where I met some awesome friends and was really able to gain momentum. I did not want to go home, and told my parents I wish I could've just stayed there forever. That's why I took such huge interest in Work Crew. Spending a month in an awesome place with cool people who love Jesus sounded pretty cool! A few weeks after the camp high faded, and I had pretty much moved on and forgot about it. I went to club a handful of times the following school year, but wasn't really that involved.
Come winter time, I was thinking about my summer plans and work crew came to my mind again. I wanted to have a month to get away, meet some new people, and spend time reconnecting with God. So, I applied. Without any knowledge of what I was getting myself into, and practically no involvement in young life, I just felt like I should do it.
God said, "Just trust me. Take a leap. Go for it! If you fall, I'm going to catch you. So what are you so afraid of?"
And that I did. I walked into a room of 40 strangers, a completely unknown situation, something I thought I would never willingly put myself into. It turned out to be the best month ever lived of my 17 and a half short years of life. Words cannot explain what I experienced during that month, but what I can say, is I stepped into a room, scared and an anxious wreck, knowing absolutely no one. And I can now sit here and say that I left that beautiful place being able to call each and every one of them my family. I can sit here and say that God was far more than just right in telling me to go. It was one of the greatest, most random, insensible leaps of faith I had ever taken. And it turned out to be the best journey yet.
When I look back at life, I realize that all of my greatest experiences and life shaping challenges have come from just taking a leap. They weren't planned out. I didn't contemplate what to do for days on end. They just seemed to happen. If you don't think God had a part in that, then maybe aliens are real, because all I can tell you, is those are moments in life that didn't happen on my own accord. Sometimes, when we are sitting around stressing about life, and college, and decisions, it's important to remind ourselves that what God has in store for us is far better than the plans we can make on our own (no matter how many hours we spend preparing, or contemplating, or researching). Although I still have absolutely no idea where I am headed in life, I am comforted in knowing that God will lead me where I need to be.
Proverbs 16:9
In their hearts humans plan their course,
but the Lord establishes their steps.
P.s. I apologize if you clicked on this blog because you thought I was actually contemplating whether or not aliens existed. I have never really questioned the existence of aliens. I just like fun titles.
