Disclaimer: This is another Spiritual Jesus post.
Life is busy. Life is crazy. Life is full of excuses. Lately, I have allowed myself to use my "business" as an excuse to push God aside. While sitting in church this Sunday, I was listening to the typical salvation message of the gospel--which I have heard a million times, as I have grown up in a completely Christian environment all my life. As the pastor was talking about having a relationship instead of following a religion, it hit me hard that recently, I had been doing great in my religion with God, but absolutely horrendous in my relationship with God. I asked God to challenge me and to place desire for Him in my soul. Of course, you know it is going to be trouble and trials whenever you present God with a request like that. And that's exactly what this week has been.
I have always been known to be terrible at handling conflict. I am the person who runs away and avoids any sort of tension or confrontation that is presented in front of me. This week I was placed in a situation where I was forced to be the one to confront. It was not fun and it definitely did not go well.
This year, I have been extremely blessed to be the assistant coach to my school's junior high volleyball team, which has been an absolutely amazing experience. I am blessed by the girls I coach daily and even by our head coach. One thing we have been recently focusing on is doing your best with the circumstances you have control over. We can't control other people and their reactions, but we can control how we act and respond. We can choose to put forth our best in every situation, and if it doesn't work out the way we wanted it to, then so be it. When we put our best foot forward and act in such a way that brings honor to God, then we have nothing to be upset about.
This philosophy could not ring any more true to me this week. Even though I was completely shut down and attacked, I put my best foot forward. I did everything I could possibly do to reconcile the situation and create peace. I chose to make the best of the circumstances that I could control. While I was thinking about this, I began to feel very proud of myself for overcoming my fears and anxieties, but then I realized that I didn't have anything to do with it. I remembered my cry to God and realized that it was Him who gave me the strength to do all of these things. He placed me in this situation so that I would be forced to rely on Him for strength and peace. Even now, I feel peace, even though the situation was not reconciled whatsoever. I have peace because I have God on my side. I have peace because I don't find my value in the words people tell me. I have peace because I know that there are far more important things in life. I have peace because I refuse to waste life being upset when I have such a short time to make an actual difference. I have peace because I will not let my poor circumstances determine how I react. I have peace because my soul now desires God and God alone.
Sometimes God just doesn't get enough credit for the things He does through us.
"We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to FILL our HEARTS with LOVE."
-Romans 5:3-5
